Monday, June 13, 2011

How lucky I am?

One of the judgements I struggle to not make is about people who say things like "you're so lucky/blessed to be able to stay home with your kids. I wish I could, but..." and it turns out their "but" isn't that they need to work to pay utility bills and eat, it's that they wouldn't be able to maintain the same lifestyle they currently do. I want to respond, "so really I'm not any luckier or more blessed than you, we just made different choices. I don't buy new clothes, cars, kayaks or bicycles, or eating out, go on vacations, road trips or skiing trips. We decided that me being with our children was important right now than me advancing in a career or having expensive annual vacations or stuff." It's fine with me if you chose those things, but please don't act like I must have it easier than you because I didn't choose those things, and chose being with my kids. I will probably go back to work someday, when my children are older, but especially when they are this young, home is where we feel I'm most needed and doing the most good for our family in the long run.

Yes, I understand that there is a variety of reasons people choose to work even when they have children. This is about a specific set of, primarily, women, whose comments seem hypocritical and irritating to me, and who I struggle not to judge negatively for what seems to me like choosing status and stuff over spending more time with their children, and who seem unwilling to acknowledge that they could be blessed in the same ways they think I am .

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